War Producers
by Leigh Skywalker
Summary: What happens when you combind the Bush adminastration of the 21 century with Mel Brooks


This is a Satire of those who are currently in Politics. I adore war when we do not need to actually fight one just to refresh everyone memory. Going into Afghanistan to look for Bin Laden good going into Iraq not so good since we still not have found Bin Laden and his network. I do not mean to offend anyone who has lost love ones in anyway in either Iraq or Afghanistan (well maybe Cindy Sheehan) just those who sent them there, therefore without further ado I give you

**The War Producers**

The scene is The Oval Office October 6th 2001 George W. Bush is wondering how he going to save the world.

George: My father had it easy. He was the King of The Beltway for four years The only thing he didn't do was keep that war thing going. Look what happened when Clinton came in. Sure he was a screw up as a husband during his term but Economic growth actually looking for Bin Laden and he even managed to get a Budget Surplus. That makes me sick… Now this Bin Laden guy who maybe I should not have told the CIA to stop looking for is attacking my towns what and I going to do….' Suddenly there is a knock at the door 'Come in" It is Karl Rove

Rove: "sir I am here to make sure that have a battle plan Let me take a look at the books' after looking at it he says 'Hmm this is intresting."

GWB: What is it?

Rove: Well yes under the right set of circumstances during war a President could make more with a flop then he could with a hit.

GWB: Say that again

Rove: I said a President could make money with a war that is a flop with the American public then he could with a hit such as The Revolutionary War The Civil War and of course WII. To do so first we must assume that the person doing this is a dishonest confused man

GWB: Assume away

Rove: Well if we convince the American Public through scare Tactatics that Sadaam Hussein and not Bin Laden is the real threat and we include such non descriptive things as weapons of Mass Destruction which could easily be confused with wither Nuclear Weapons or Reality Television we could then invade Iraq and make millions upon millions in oil revenue.

GWB: But what about Bin Laden

Rove: We send small number of soldiers after him then tell them to stand down and let the people we team up with to go in with out us we could drag this on forever.

GWB: I see Step one we find the worst reason in the world to go to war, Step two We then hire the worst person to tell our troops what to do Step three I convince congress through exploding Patriotism and the fear of Homosexual marriage that are vaules are under attack by these terrorist who are really puppets of Sadaam. Step four break the 4th Amendment of the Constitution for which we are trying to protect from these terrorist and before you can say Impeachment or conviction my two terms will be over and Democracy will have spread to the Arab world.

The two men go in search of someone who can convince the World that we are in deed under attack from Sadaam if we don't act fast. Theywho they are looking for in Secertary of State Colin Powell who agrees to try and sell it through these fear tactics

Powell: Gentlemen I have written up these war plans years ago since we first defeated Sadaam when he was an actual threat to the world. I am will in if you will back me with funds to go to the UN and sell them that there are Weapons of Mass Desctrution out there in Iraq.

GWB: Brilliant, just brilliant how fast can you get up to New York

Powell: I can be there in 2002 before we want to attack a nation that has yet done nothing to us but who we only think because we are stupid fear they would instead of going after Bin Laden

GWB: Good while you are doing that Karl and I need someone who will direct this war so that we can make money for long after I retire from this public office whose integrity I have ripped to shreds far more then my predecessor who just really committed adulatory. Karl we must see Donnie and Dickie

To finance there war Rove and a glowing jubilant George W. Bush head to the offices of Donald Rumsfeld who when told that his former company Halliburton could rebuild Iraq once the United States bombs the place calls in Donald Rumsfeld. When Rummy as he is known by his friends here's this he falls down on the floor

Channey: He's having a stroke

Rove and GWB: What

Channey: OF genius

Rummy: I see we bomb Iraq with guns and bombs every one bigger and bigger. We then set up a new government that will have power ever day that goes slimmer and slimmer. We take out the Dictator and then copy his playbook hey classics never spoil. Then clean up at the cash register with 72 dollars the going rate for one barrel of oil. We spy on our own citizens thereby breaking the 4th amendment to the constitution. Saying we must invade your civil liberties to protect your liberty and because of our nations lousy educational system people won't even care because many of George's constituents don't know they have these liberties anyway.

Colin Powell runs into the Department of Defense: Gentlemen I did I sold the World that we need to go. Well maybe I didn't sell the world France and Germany didn't like it but hey do they really have any credit in lecturing us on how to wage war to stop an evil genius.

Rove: But what about Bin Laden and the actual people who will die when we unleash this

GWB: Come on the Media loves to see a tough republican take charge. Look what it did for Reagan in 1983

It is June 2006 now after Sadaam Hussian has been captured and no WMD's Bush is wondering how he is going to win the elections

Rove: Now way out

GWB: The press doesn't like the war

Rove: No way out

GWB: Abu Grave is a disaster not to mention Haditha

Rove: And Still no one is taking to Democracy and no WMD's. By the way Bin Laden is still at large. Maybe I should actually care about trying to find him.

Rove: No way out

Colin Powell runs into the Oval office: You made me look ridicules that people are asking for me to resign as well as the other two

Channey and Rumsfeld join him in the office

Channey: People think I am really the President here and I just did this for money not for freedom even after we caught Sadaam

Rummy: Wherever I tell the soldiers to go they seem to create more insurgents. Now what could be worse

GWB: How could this happen we knew that there were weapons in there hands. We sold it to them to fight Iran When did we go wrong Sadaam a butcher a brute, No one could make that face look cute where did we go wrong. War with reasons easy to see. Bring it on I said so that we could go after the terrorist and plant democracy. It the end of or careers. They could be fighting for 20 years where did we go wrong.

Rove: Well at least I am not in power to try and make this happen you can't blame me

GWB: What are you crazy I am you and Dick Channey puppet the press says so and they have actually been in Iraq. You are the reason we are in here.

Rummy: Gentlemen you forget one thing

Rove and GWB: What is that?

Rummy: You are The President of the United States they can't touch you

GWB: Rummy you are a genius. Yes I am the President I can't be touched because with my party the dominate section of the Congress no one is going to touch me so long as I wave the flag and say that Christians rule the world. Gentlemen we go to Baghdad to see how this puppet government is going then we take on Iran where there could be an actual threat. Oh alright I leave that to the next guy.

How the war really ends I do not know but hopefully in 2008 America will vote for a democrat with a brain so that we will not be able to be in this quagmire anymore. Paging John Edwards Wesley Clark and Howard Dean your country really needs you.


End file.
